Posts Tagged ‘healing grief’

Greetings my friends,

Today, I’d like to tell you about a very exciting opportunity from the Forever Family Foundation. This is a rare chance to meet and learn from some of the country’s most evidential mediums at the Afterlife Explorers and Mediumship Convention next month. Two years in the planning, the convention will be held Friday through Sunday, Nov. 11-13 in the beautiful city of Fort Myers, Florida.afterlife-logo1

The featured fund-raiser on Saturday night is a presentation and Spirit Communication by Laura Lynn Jackson, renowned Forever Family Foundation Certified Medium and author of the New York Times best seller, The Light Between Us.

The Convention Program includes Spirit Communication sessions by eleven of the organization’s certified mediums (including your truly), optional dinners with mediums,  and four different program tracks, tailored to specific audiences:

  1. Practicing Mediums: for those who want to hone their mediumistic skills and learn more about evidential mediumship
  2. Mediumship Students: for those who are experiencing some type of non-physical communication, are curious about the process of mediumship, or have already begun their studies and aspire to develop skills necessary to work as a medium
  3. Visionary Explorers: for those who want to learn more about all types of evidence suggesting life after death
  4. The Bereaved: for those who have suffered the loss of loved ones and seek connections and evidence that they have survived physical death

Who is the Forever Family Foundation?

The stated goal of this tireless and committed organization (from their website):

To further the understanding of Afterlife Science through research and education while providing support and healing for people in grief, where afterlife science is defined as the study of phenomena associated with survival of consciousness after death; including near death experiences, after death communications, life after life (death), and reincarnation.

FFF_cert_medium_croppedForever Family Foundation is also a certifying agency for mediums worldwide, testing applicants for accuracy of Spirit messages with stringent standards, ensuring scientific evidence of the afterlife. For me, personally, it has been a great honor to be counted among their cadre of evidential mediums since my own certification in 2013. The study of afterlife research and the Foundation’s mission of helping those in grief aligns perfectly with my own personal mission of healing and of spreading the message that life is indeed continuous and love eternal!

Will I see you in my workshops?

Besides an open 90-minute Spirit Communication Demonstration with fellow medium, Joe Perreta on Saturday afternoon, I’m excited to offer the following two workshops at the convention.

  • Student Medium Track:  In this one-hour workshop on Evidential Mediumship Skills, we’ll learn to employ various “systems” for communicating with Spirit–active strategies that bring passive mediumship to a higher level of consistently accurate information.  Whether you’re a medium-wannabe, or already on the path of becoming a working medium, these strategies will bring form and function to your work.
  • Visionary Explorers Track:  I like to think of Past Life Regression and Life-Between-Lives Regression as modern-day time travel with the specific benefit of gaining enlightenment around troubling issues in our current incarnations on Earth. Once understood, healing and resolve can begin. In this exciting workshop I will guide each participant on a metaphysical journey to answer a question of greatest concern to them. Join me!

All participating mediums will be offering workshops on fascinating topics, that are sure to take you places you never imagined possible.

Act now for a Whispers From the Light Discount!

Fort Myers Holiday Inn

Fort Myers Holiday Inn

Don’t delay – the discounted hotel block is about to expire. So reserve your tickets today and plan your trip to The Afterlife Explorers and Mediumship Conference. It will be held at the beautiful (and airport accessible)  Fort Myers Airport Holiday Inn at Town Center.

WHISPERS DISCOUNT: I’m excited to offer–on behalf of the Forever Family Foundation–a convention discount. Just use RENEE2016 at checkout for a $50 discount off the full conference price for members and non-members alike.

I hope to see you there!

~In love and light,



Read Full Post »

Scene from Cold Sweat

Beach scene* from Cold Sweat. Left to right: Eve Danzeisen, Renee Buck, Natasha Charles Parker  (photo by Kate Hagerty)

Sometimes reality is stranger than fiction. “Could it be that I’m psychic?” is one of my lines in a play here in Los Angeles – my first ever theater performance. Through an admirable set of synchronicities, and by simply allowing myself to “follow the energy,” I have been cast in the play, Cold Sweat, by Neal Bell.

One thing led to another…

Last fall, a guest speaker and prominent screenwriter, Jane Anderson, recommended to my UCLA screenwriting class that all writers take at least one acting class. “It will help you get inside your characters, and better understand what actors look for in roles,” she said. It was sound advice, and so I promptly searched for an acting class. I found the Andrew Wood Acting Studio here in Hollywood and contacted Andrew. Andrew meets every potential student to ensure there’s a good fit. We met for coffee at Starbucks. I liked him immediately and felt I could learn a lot from him. And despite the fact that I was an acting novice, and that my last theater performance was in elementary school at the age of 10, Andrew invited me to join the mixed-level class in scene study and technique.

Scene study: a play about Spirit

I was assigned to work on a scene from Cold Sweat, a play about life after death, replete with spirits, a medium and faithColdSweat healer, a young woman with “second sight”, the skeptic, and of course, the searcher. Cold Sweat was first performed in 1987, and was in fact inspired by the life of Elizabeth Kubler Ross, a prolific writer on death and dying. I’d not mentioned my spiritual work to Andrew at our coffee meeting. But what are the chances that I’d be randomly assigned a play about the very themes that define such a big part of my life? Had Andrew googled me and found my website, I wondered? So, I asked him. Not so. Andrew was actually surprised to discover that I was a medium. It was simply a role he thought would be right for me to work on.

The last day of class was Friends and Family Night, at which we performed the scene we’d worked on perfecting for several months. Outside, after my performance, Andrew complimented my work and asked if I would be interested in performing my role as Bess in a public theater production of Cold Sweat, which he would soon be co-producing and directing. He was presently casting for it. I’m not sure how far my jaw fell, but I’m pretty sure the grass tickled my chin. Once the shock of his invitation wore off, and Andrew’s assurance that “I was ready,” had sunk in, the timing and logistics were considered and I opted in. Doubting the wisdom of my choice at times (acting is definitely harder than it looks), I wondered if I could really pull it off, but all signs said, “Go!” so I stayed in the flow.


I play the outspoken, self-absorbed, and rather outlandish Bess Franklin, a New England blue blood and the mother of

Alice and Bess

Alice and Bess (Photo by Kate Hagerty)

Alice, the main character (played by the very talented Eve Danzeisen). As Bess, the wife of a man terminally-ill with cancer, my fear of being “left behind” and later, my dark struggle with the overwhelming grief that comes with losing a loved one, are emotions with which many of us can identify and empathize. Bess is a character far from my own personality, but the words of the playwright are so rich that Bess quickly found a voice within me. With Andrew’s skillful guidance and direction, she took on a life of her own. Inspired by whom or from whom, I’m not yet sure!

The play

The play is about “my daughter, Alice,” a Vietnam War field doctor traumatized by her war experience, and especially the sudden loss of her lover. Once back home, she finds herself on a personal quest to help cancer patients come to terms with death, and to truly understand for herself what happens after death–if anything. Despite the heavy themes, the play delivers plenty of sharp wit, comedic repartee and metaphysical mysteries as Alice journeys through the unknown. And the play ends on an up note! What more can one ask?

Reflections on my soul’s path

My sister, Susan Buck 1956-1973

My sister, Susan Buck 1954-1973

In March, while visiting Boston and my beloved Swampscott Church of Spiritualism, I sat in a Spirit circle. A message from my sister Susie came through Beth, one of the student mediums. Beth brought through many validations of my life in Hollywood, details of the latest story I was researching for a screenplay, even the elephant totems in the Hollywood & Highland shopping center just a block away from my apartment. Susie said through Beth, “Your world is expanding in ways you can’t see, can’t imagine. Keep focusing and keep buckling down.” (Side note: Susie passed into Spirit in 1973, when this play opens.)

Hollywood & Highland Elephant Totems

Elephant totems at Hollywood & Highland

My world is indeed expanding. Acting in a play is the last thing I would have imagined for myself when I arrived in L.A. last fall. That said, I’ve met so many wonderful people through this experience and have been opened up to the joys of acting. Following the energy has served me well this past year as I find myself in the flow of deeply creative and expansive exercises, all of which serve to inform, reinforce and complement the other.

We are here on the Earth plane to learn, to create and to be creative. This challenge takes many forms, and manifests in all aspects of life. When we find ourselves “in the flow” of creative energy, in the process of co-creation with the Universe, we are literally carried forward in a river of great joy and deep satisfaction. For me, creative endeavors are also opportunities to bring forward messages of hope, compassion, and eternal love, no matter the medium… Aha! A pun.

By chance (or not), Andrew just sent me the perfect ending to this post–a quote from Letters to a Young Poet, by Rainer Maria Rilke:

If only it were possible for us to see farther than our knowledge reaches, and even a little beyond the outworks of our presentiment, perhaps we would bear our sadnesses with greater trust than we have in our joys. For they are the moments when something new has entered us, something unknown; our feelings grow mute in shy embarrassment, everything in us withdraws, a silence arises, and the new experience, which no one knows, stands in the midst of it all and says nothing.

One weekend left: June 26-28, 2015

If you’re in the Los Angeles area, consider coming to one of the final performances of the play. You’ll be sure to enjoy it! Cold Sweat is showing at the Atwater Village Theater, a 99-seat blackbox theater, so tickets are limited. You can get them online here. If you come, please wait for me and introduce yourself after the show! I’d love to hear how the play touched you.

~In love and light, Renee Buck

*Beach scene: Alice, played by Eve Danzeisen; Bess, played by yours truly, Renee Buck; Fay played by Natasha Charles Parker.

Read Full Post »


My sister, Laura Buck Tarbox 1955-2011

Many of you knew my sister, Laura. She was the one with the ready smile, a big hearty laugh, and a zest for life. Always ready for an adventure with a mischievous look in her eye, and a “let’s do it” attitude.

I haven’t written much about Laura here on my blog. Why? I’m not sure. Perhaps her passing is still too fresh, too personal, too heart-wrenching to commit to writing. But it’s time, and the story I have to tell is a good one, so I hope you enjoy it.

Laura lived in Minnesota, where I grew up and where most of my family still resides.  Sometimes Laura and I would speak several times in a day on the phone, and then there were times when we’d get busy with our lives, and not get around to checking in for several weeks. So, it’s fair to say she wasn’t a constant in my daily life—and as a result, when Laura passed into Spirit suddenly in July 2011, it took a long time for it to truly sink in that she was no longer a phone call away. Perhaps you’ve experienced it: something exciting happens in your life, and you want to share with your sister, your brother, your parents, your friend—and you pull out your phone to call them, and suddenly you remember…oh, that’s right. She’s gone. He’s gone. They’re gone. And you feel that rush of hurt and surprise tinged with grief, all over again. That’s how it’s been with Laura and me until recently, really.

This story is an addendum to The Story of Bobby and Gail, a post from last month. I delivered the Story of Bobby and Gail as a lecture at my church the Sunday before the post went up. As I expected, it was received with love and compassion by the congregation. Afterward, a number of people approached me about helping them find a system to work with their Loved Ones in Spirit, and I realized how powerfully important that message of a personal communication system with Spirit really is.

That very night, as I was reflecting on the amazing string of communications from Bobby to me and then to Gail, I started thinking about all the various systems or forms of communications that have come through from my Loved Ones in Spirit as well—many of which I’ve outlined in various of my posts: Marbles from Merle, The Story of Susie, Hi Honey!, The Gift of Christmas Past, to name a few.

That’s when it occurred to me: I did not yet have a specific sign or system of communication with Laura! I knew she was around me, and had received messages from her through other mediums, but I decided that we needed something special, something just between us, like Bobby and Gail had. So I spent a few minutes tracing back through songs, poems, sayings, flowers, colors, etc., anything that might be significant and meaningful for us both.

And then it came to me.

The last time I was in New Ulm, Minnesota, where Laura lived, was in September of 2012. I was staying in a hotel  for a few days with my sister, Connie. For the first time since childhood, we no longer had a home there – our parents had passed a few years prior. Laura had been the last remaining family link to a town that I have considered my hometown for over 40 years.  Laura’s house would fall to new owners the following week. I had an hour by myself before it was time to leave for the airport, so I did two things: I paid a final visit to the family graves, and then drove back across town to see Laura’s house one last time. The house was empty, and all of her material possessions gone, but there on the front steps were the three rocks that

Laura's Rocks

Laura’s Rocks

Laura had placed there years prior. On them were the words: Live, Love, and Laugh.  How often had I seen these rocks and never considered their relevance in Laura’s life?  Now, however, I reflected on how accurately they represented the intent and values by which my sister lived. These words,  I decided, would be our system—the sign that Laura was around and working with me, reminding me to live, love and laugh. So, I said aloud, “Okay Laura, I’ll be looking for Live, Love, Laugh from you. It’s not that easy, but I’m sure you can pull it off!”  Laura was, I should have mentioned, exceptionally psychic ever since childhood, so I was confident in our new system. I just wasn’t ready for the speed with which she would respond…

The very next morning, the contractor overseeing exterior renovations on my house alerted me to the fact that we were going to be short a few lengths of window molding…and “would I have time to go to Lowe’s and get more?” Well, to be honest, I wasn’t particularly pleased about this request. Lowe’s is about 30 minutes drive in each direction, so there goes my morning, but what was I gonna do? Stop the construction? Uh…no. So, off I went.

I quickly found the molding and was heading to checkout when I recalled that I still needed a metal floor strip, the kind that seals the floor between two types of flooring. So, I headed over to the nearest sales person, and described what I was looking for. He led me across the warehouse and left me to select what I needed from an array of products.  I found what I needed, added it to my cart, and as I turned around to head back to checkout, the display of mirrors caught my eye. Not just because I love to linger over home decor items…but because of what was on the frame of the mirror that had been hanging up directly behind me: Live, Love, Laugh.

12 hours later...

12 hours later..

Whoa!  It was less than 12 hours since my request to Laura, and there she was, delivering. It was a very powerful moment for me, to see the evidence of our pact so clearly and swiftly presented. An audible gasp fell from my lips, and then I felt Laura’s love fill my heart, and the tears flowed, and flowed, and flowed…

I hid out there in the far corner of the Lowe’s warehouse for a little while, taking in the power of the moment, and trying to pull myself together…

I thought about all the things that needed to happen for such a synchronous event…moving forward and backward in time, trying to figure out how it could have unfolded in the way it did. It’s frankly mind-boggling. I keep coming back to the realization that we’re barely tapping the potential for Spirit Communication; I believe we still have much to learn in this area.

All that really matters though, is that we simply relax into the knowing that our Loved Ones hear us, see us, and will do all that’s in their power to demonstrate to us that they walk beside us when we ask them to.

Sarah’s birthday message

Laura's daughter, Sarah

Laura’s daughter, Sarah

Last week was the birthday of Laura’s only daughter, Sarah, who is also quite spiritually “connected.” I knew that Sarah had set up her own system with her mother after reading The Story of Bobby and Gail, so I checked in to see what might have happened on her birthday.

“Oh, it was wonderful!” Sarah began. “I had determined that 3 would be our number, and I’ve noticed a lot of threes lately, but one special moment occurred on my birthday when I was cooking macaroni and cheese, like Mom used to make. When I looked up at the clock on the stove, it was exactly 3:33. I smiled to myself and said, ‘Hi Mom! Thanks for being here with me.'”

It was a perfect, really. Laura had a degree in culinary arts and loved to cook. So coming through to Sarah while she was cooking drew on the energetic connection they shared. Laura also worked at Kraft foods most of her career, and macaroni and cheese was, well,  an obvious tie-in!


“Live, Love and Laugh!”

As I write this, I can see Laura’s bright smile, hear her laughter ring in my ears, and feel her warm sisterly love surround me.

“Live, Love, and Laugh!” she says to me.  With the holidays upon us, and preparations demanding more and more of us every year, Laura’s message is a timely reminder to us all of the truly important things in life: live your life to the fullest, love with all your heart, and let laughter be your healing balm.

Happy Holidays and much love to you all!

~In love and light, Renee

Read Full Post »

Today is Valentine’s Day—the day in which millions of people around the world celebrate love in all its glorious forms. My story today is about a romantic love that flourished through almost 60 years of marriage and the raising of a large family. It was a love so powerful that it conquered death; a love so true that it proved to a strident disbeliever that love does go on. This, my friends, is the story of the love between my mother Elva, and her husband—my father—Dennis.

My mother, Elva.

Mom on Valentine’s Day 1993

It was the fall of 2007, a few months after my mother had passed into Spirit, when she apparently decided it was high time to visit my father—then bedridden and severely depressed, suffering a slow death of his own from emphysema. It was a difficult time for all of us, learning to come to terms with the passing of the woman who was our sun—the center of our familial universe. But for my father, it was particularly trying, for when his beloved Elva died, his love of life passed with her.

Dad’s greatest fear was that his Elva was lost to him forever. Unlike my mother, whose faith in God and belief in the afterlife was unshakable, Dad openly questioned whether there was such a thing as life after death. And for years, he wasn’t just disbelieving of Spirit communication, he was adamantly opposed to the idea of it. During the years I was developing as a Medium, I would regularly call home and share with him and my mother my amazing journey, and what I was learning about life on The Other Side. Dad’s reaction was often to hang up the phone on me, leaving my mother and I to recover from the obvious “click” of his receiver, and to continue our conversation. There was a time when my father stopped speaking to me altogether in protest of my continued exploration of Spirit communication. I felt sad that this amazing new experience was going unshared with him—especially since his own mother (my paternal grandmother), Irene, was very actively communicating through other mediums to me and my family. And

Christmas 1964

Christmas 1964

of course, his two children, Susan and Merle, who’d been in Spirit for decades, came through regularly with highly evidential messages filled with love, healing, and support for him. Why wouldn’t he want to hear these messages, I wondered. Maybe one day, I told myself, he would come to accept, and to believe, and in doing so, to release his fears of death.

When my mother was alive, I’d call my parents in Minnesota several times a week on my way home from work in Boston. We’d chat for the 45 minutes it took me to get home, covering every topic you can imagine; it was our time to be together. After Mom passed, I continued the tradition with Dad, and found that in my conversations with him, he had softened his position on Spirit communication. He allowed me to share with him messages from Elva received via other Mediums. He didn’t say too much about the messages, but he listened. He seemed more open to the possibility, and I sensed that he wanted to believe.  What was still required for him to really believe, however, is what most people need to believe—a personal experience.

And Mom knew that, too.

I’m going to let my sister, Connie, tell the rest of the story, because she was there, and I love how she tells it.

My sister, Connie.

My sister, Connie

Connie: It was about 10:00am and I was in the kitchen when I heard Dad call out from the bedroom, “Connie! Connie, come here! Connie!”

I ran down the hallway to see what was wrong, because Dad couldn’t move around very easily on his own. He was in bed, leaning up against the headboard, his eyes large and wild.

“Dad! What? What’s wrong? Are you ok?” I said, standing in the doorway to his bedroom.

“Mom!”  he sputtered. “Mom was here!”

“What? Mom? Dad, Mom’s not here. She died, remember?” I thought he was dreaming.

“No!” he insisted and pointed in my direction. “She was right there—just like you are!” His voice shook with emotion. “She…she came in the door and  smiled at me and said, ‘Hi Honey!’ and then she came over to the bed and leaned down and kissed me, and I yelled because she scared me, and then she was gone!” he said, still looking about the room, as if he might find her back again. 

I smiled. So, Mom made an appearance. Great. I went over and sat on the

Elva Buck

Elva Buck

bed with Dad. “I wish she’d appear to me like that, Dad,” I said. He just looked at me, still deeply shaken. “So, what did she look like?” I asked. I could tell Dad wanted to talk about it.

“Well, she was wearing a blue and white striped blouse, and white pants,” he began. “Her hair was all fixed up and she had lipstick on. She looked beautiful,” he smiled wistfully and his eyes became moist.

“That’s how I see her in my dreams, Dad,” I said. “She’s glowing from the inside out, hair and makeup just perfect.”

“Yes, she looked perfect,” he nodded. ”And I could feel her kiss. It scared the heck out of me!” he laughed, now that the shock was wearing off.

“You see, Dad? Spirits can visit us, and communicate with us—like Renee has been saying. Mom’s telling you that she’s alive and will be there for you when it’s your time. There’s nothing to be afraid of, Dad,” I said, hoping my words would comfort. Dad shook his head slowly, trying to let it sink in.

“Well, maybe it was all a dream, but it sure felt real,” he concluded, and lay slowly back against the pillows.

[Thanks, Connie!]

Over the last year of my father’s life, he would smile when we talked about “Mom’s visit.” He wasn’t ready to tell the story himself, but he wanted it told. He wanted to share the joy he felt in knowing his beautiful wife, Elva, wasn’t really gone. He liked to hear us say that she was around him, and would be waiting for him on The Other Side.

Dad became a kinder, gentler man in his final year with us, and I believe it had a lot to do with him relaxing into the inevitable. He’d been ill with emphysema for so many years and by that point had a poor quality of life on most days, struggling to breathe and needing help with the most basic of routines. Dad had lived for so long in fear of leaving Earth for the unknown, in fear of being apart from his Elva, but Mom’s surprising visit on that sunny October morning changed all that.

The following September, his health continuing to fail, Dad made up his mind. He called his family together and said, “That’s it. I’m done here. I’m leaving.”

“Uh…what do you mean, Dad? Where are you going?” asked my brother, Jim.

“It’s time to set up hospice,” Dad said.  “I want to be with my Elva.” He pointed to their 40th wedding anniversary photo on the wall of his bedroom.

Hospice was set up that day, and my father was reunited with our mother the next. It was that simple. Dad left us, secure in, and comforted by his own certainty that Mom would be there to take his hand at the moment of his passing, guiding him toward their continued life on The Other Side.

The last photo of Mom and Dad July 2007

The last photo of Mom and Dad together, July 2007

These days, on my way home from work, I still miss my phone calls with Mom and Dad, but I sense their presence, and see their smiling faces in my mind’s eye, side by side in Spirit. We choose each other in love before our lives on Earth, and we can choose to pass back into Spirit through the comfort of that same vital energy. Yes, true love does go on.

Happy Valentines Day, everyone! As always, if you have a story  of enduring love across the veil, please share in the comments below.

~In Love and Light, Renee  

Read Full Post »

My sister, Susan Buck 1954-1973

I have been blessed to be born into a family whose genetic makeup allows for a comparatively advanced psychic experience. On the other hand, some might say I’ve been cursed to be born into a family where death seems to visit a little too often and a little too soon. Blessings and curses, gains and losses, gives and takes–life is a story of balance. Yes, we’ve lost plenty, but the silver lining in the storm clouds is that we’ve also been able to communicate across the veil in ways that ease our pain, and help us to know that our Loved Ones are still there when we need them.

So it’s perhaps no surprise that Spirit communication has been occurring in various ways for each of the members in my family for decades. Today, I’m going to talk about my sister, Susan, who died 39 years ago, and how she has actively communicated with us since her death.

Susie died in a car accident at age 18. She was on her way to work at sunrise on January 6th, 1973 and was hit head-on by a drunk driver who’d fallen asleep at the wheel. Susie died instantly. It came as a tremendous shock to our family, following so quickly on the heels of my brother’s death, just 16 months prior. I had just turned 14 at the time of Susie’s death, and once again, the various explanations for her death came from all sides.

The story of Susie’s passing holds a key message from Spirit, which manifested in quite a different manner than the 30+ years that we waited for brother Merle’s message to come through a Medium. (See Blog Post of 10/20/2011 – Merle’s Choice)

I was the last one to speak to my sister. The bedroom I’d shared with her was just off the dining room. The morning of her accident, I woke up at about 6:20am, and saw Susie sitting in the dark at the dining table. The light above the stove in the adjoining kitchen was the only illumination; her face was in shadow. An account of Sue’s passing and a visit from her Spirit is chronicled in my personal diary, written at age 14. The following are excerpts:

Diary Entry: Saturday, January 6, 1973

Sue is dead. I just can’t believe it. I just talked to her about 10-15 minutes before the accident. She was sitting on the dining room chair and I could see her as I looked out my door from my bed. This is what I said to her, if I remember right.

I turned around in bed and said to Sue, “Didn’t you even go to bed?”

“Yes, I’m just waiting to go to work,” said Sue.

“Oh,” I paused. “Hey Sue, are you going anywhere tonight? Cuz I need a ride home from roller skating.”

“I’m going out with Randy. You’ll have to find a ride from someone else,” she answered.

“Ok,” I said, and I turned over in bed and fell asleep until the doorbell rang…

After Susie’s accident, I kept thinking to myself, if only I’d gotten out of bed and talked with Sue; if I’d kept her just a little longer, she might have lived. Just a few seconds either way, and she’d still be alive. I was consumed with the idea that I could have made the difference. I believe it was this dark obsession that encouraged Susie’s Spirit to “explain” something to me about her death.

Diary Entry: January 30, 1973

I had a dream about Sue two nights ago. I slept in Sue’s bed that

My First Diary: 1972-1974

night, and I dreamed that I woke up, and the time was just about 6:00am, the time Sue was usually getting ready for work. And there was Sue, sitting on the floor between our beds. She was leaning on my bed, but staring at the clock [on the table between our beds].

When she turned to me, I said, “Sue!”

She gave me a weird, puzzled look, and then stared back at the clock again and said, “I’m not going to work today,” and then she smiled and looked at me. I smiled and agreed with her. Then I got up out of my bed and started crying, and hugging her.

Then she said, “Don’t.”

“Why?” I asked.

“Because you make me feel bad,” she said.

Then I asked her if I could cut a lock of her hair for me to keep, and she let me, but then said I took too much. After a while I asked her, “How much time do you have left?”

Sue looked at the clock again and said, “About three minutes.”

I asked, “Should I get Mom and Dad?” but then I thought for moment and said, “No, they’ll just feel bad all over again.”

By then, Sue was lying on my bed, and I was kneeling by her side. She began struggling and trying to fight off something. I held her…and she died. Time: 6:30am.

It was all so real, but it showed me that no matter where you are, when the time comes, there is nothing you can do. I can’t stop thinking about that dream, and about Sue and Merle….

As a 14 year old, I didn’t know how to frame a visit from Spirit. A “dream” was the only way I could describe it, but the “dream” was so vivid that it seemed more like a conscious experience than a dream, and consequently stayed with me my whole life. Only last year, while searching for some unrelated information, did I revisit this diary and find my original recounting of the “dream.” Whether a dream or a Spirit visit, or a Spirit visit within a dream, it doesn’t really matter – what matters is the message that Susie brought me: There is nothing I could have done to have prevented her passing. Whether in a car accident, or quietly resting on her own bed, it was her time to pass from the Earth plane, and back to her life on The Other Side.

Because I wasn’t willing to accept that “God’s will” or “God’s plan” led to Susie’s death, I didn’t know how to understand Susie’s message of predestined death. If it was not God’s will, then whose? Who determined that Susie should die on January 6th, 1973 at 6:30am? Who? It was this question to which I sought answers for decades, until I was finally introduced to the concept of Life Plans, and came to better understand the work that each soul does on The Other Side to architect his or her life on Earth—with loving guidance from Spiritual Advisors.

Susie’s Communications from The Other Side: Susie was just 11 months younger than my eldest sister, Connie. They grew up finishing each other’s sentences. Where Connie went, Susie followed. They shared a bedroom their entire lives until Connie married and moved out just three weeks before Susie’s accident. Their bond was immeasurable, and Connie’s sense of loss when Susie died was also immeasurable. But just as Susie appeared to me to explain that her death was inevitable, she’s never really left Connie’s side. Several times, in fact, Susie warned Connie when dangerous events were unfolding.

Connie and 3 yr old son, Lance

On a frigid cold January day in Minnesota in 1984, Connie’s 3 year old son opened the front door unnoticed and went out into the cold without a jacket. The heavy front door slid shut behind him. Connie had the vacuum running, and didn’t hear the door close. What she did hear, however, was a woman’s voice say, “Connie, it’s Lance! Connie, he’s outside and can’t get in! Hurry!” Connie stopped the vacuum and was looking around for her son, when she caught sight of him crying outside the front door, unable to reach the doorknob.  Connie knew then, without a doubt, that it had been Susie’s voice in her ear. It was Susie who had made sure no harm would come to her precious child.

And so it was and has always been. As Connie moved through the paces

of her life, Susie would make herself known at various times, warning Connie of impending or immediate events—sometimes pulling her out of sleep to take action. It was not until a few months ago, on my trip home to Minnesota, that I brought Susie through in a reading for Connie. It’s a funny thing about mediums; we prefer to do readings for people we know less well, so that we can be sure our own minds don’t get in the way. But this Christmas, Connie and I decided to sit for a formal reading to see how well it would go—to see if I could set aside my conscious thinking mind enough to be a clear channel for Spirit communication. And I’m so glad I did.

Now, it’s no surprise that Susie was the firstto speak, but she was also the

Susie in October 1972

primary speaker throughout the reading, and was clearly overseeing the order in which other Spirit visitors would communicate. Susie spent a lot of time providing a problem solving strategy for a situation in Connie’s life, and it was fascinating for both of us to learn from Susie in this way. What was especially fascinating for me, was the change I felt in Susie’s energy.  I remember Susie as a teenager—shy, sensitive, and silly at times. But when she came through as a Spirit entity, her energy was very focused and sophisticated; her message wise and measured. She was not in any way judgmental, but rather descriptive and helpful—traits of an evolved soul. Susie was her fully aware self, and had clearly opted for a short life here on Earth, so that she may serve others in a Spiritual capacity from The Other Side.

To feel Susie’s energy as a Spirit Guide, differentiated from the Earth self I remembered as her little sister, was special and enlightening for me. It was like meeting her for the first time, and in a way it was.

I asked Connie to comment on the experience, and she said this, “I knew Susie would be the first one to speak. She’s been with me all these years—of that I have no doubt. And it sounded like the Susie I knew. We shared everything, and it was always an equal exchange with us. She may have been more shy around others, but with me, she was her wise self, and I depended on her advice.  The reading was very emotional for me, but it was only because it really felt as though she was talking with me again. I’ve missed that so much.”

Susie has come through many various mediums to me over the past decade, and I’ve always relayed the messages to Connie, knowing how much they meant to her. But now, I know that I can bring Susie directly through my own mediumship, and that, my friends, is the greatest gift of all–for Connie and me both.

PS. Coincidentally, I was planning on posting this story yesterday, but it was a busy day, so I put it off. Then, last night I had another very vivid dream about Susie. In the dream, I was applying for a job as a foreign correspondent at a large international newspaper publisher, and Susie was there, working. I saw her from behind. She was standing at a desk, her hair held back from her face by a narrow ribbon—as she always used to wear it.  I went up to her, and said, “Sue! I thought you were dead.” She just kept working with the papers at her desk, and said over her shoulder to me, “No Renee, I’ve been here all this time…”

Do you have a communication from Spirit you’d like to share? Please do in the Comment Box below.

With love and light ~ Renee Buck

Read Full Post »

Have you seen the new TV drama, A Gifted Man? It’s on Friday nights on CBS. If you haven’t seen it, the story line goes like this: Outside a swanky New York restaurant, a brilliant and somewhat arrogant neurosurgeon, Michael Holt, runs into his ex-wife, Anna Paul, the idealistic director of Clinica Sanando, a free clinic for the underprivileged. They catch up over dinner together, and the romance seems to be rekindling. Later that night, Michael tells his sister about his chance meeting with Anna.

The next day, Michael tries to call Anna, only to be told that Anna died two weeks prior. The stunned Michael immediately seeks a medical explanation for his experience the night before: schizophrenia? brain tumor?  hallucinations? Michael’s sister, who happens to be very plugged into the metaphysical circuit, suggests that Anna’s spirit visited him, an idea that Michael quickly discounts, and even goes so far as to deny he ever had dinner with Anna.

When Anna shows up again, Michael thinks he’s going crazy, but eventually listens to Anna (because what else can you do when your ex-wife’s spirit won’t stop following you?). She appeals to Michael to help Clinica Sanando. He agrees, begrudgingly at first. But…little by little, episode after episode (with Anna’s gentle but persistent nudging), he willingly give more and more of himself and his time to those in need of his services at the Clinica.

I like the show because it’s uplifting, and is one more mainstream example of positive Spirit communication, of which there is a dearth in our TV media. There are clearly aspects of this show, like most, that are “made for TV,” but overall, the presentation of the metaphysical realm is on target. I love that it introduces Shamanism (practiced by a regular guy who happens to be a carpenter), Spirit visits to normal people (like a healthy, young neurosurgeon), and metaphysical aspects of life on the Other Side (like a different sense of time and space).

And now, a real life story: Tonight’s show is a repeat of the debut episode, which I’ve already seen, but I feel compelled to watch it again. As I do, I’m reminded of how persistent Spirit can be when they know that you can help them. Last Sunday I had the lovely opportunity to provide readings for five people at the home of a client. In three of the five readings, a young soldier came through, but none of the three could identify him.  To have a Spirit come into a reading “early” is not always unusual in situations where I have multiple readings in a row. But this situation was a little bit different. By the end of the afternoon, he had still not been identified, and yet I could see him very clearly, and sense his strong desire to be recognized.

I left my client’s home around 6:00pm, and while driving I again thought of this young soldier, and again over dinner, and again while relaxing that evening, and again while falling asleep. Every idle moment of mine was an opportunity for him to redirect my attention to the fact that he was still with me, and still wanted my help connecting with his family. It was a restless night, and his presence persisted throughout the following day. That said, this soldier’s energy was always positive and not at all threatening to me. He just wanted my help; he wanted to try again with the same group of people.  So, I agreed and I meditated to find out more about him and learned that this brave young man died in combat operations in the Middle East in recent years, and didn’t have a chance to say Goodbye to family.  From Spirit, he sees his mother grieving his death, and having trouble coming to terms with it. He believes, as I do, that if he could just make the connection through me, to help his mother understand that her son is alive in Spirit and that he regularly touches in with her, then she can release some of her grief and move forward with her life.

To that end, I wrote to my client again late Monday night, described the soldier with all the detail he’d provided me, and I asked if she would mind sending it out again to those who came for readings. My client graciously passed on my email, and since then, I’ve not felt his presence. The energy is in motion to find his mother and to pass on his message of love, and that’s all he wanted of me. I do hope to hear from his mother someday, so that a more complete connection can be made, but even if it doesn’t happen, I know that this soldier, who gave his life so bravely, is satisfied with my efforts and those of my gracious client.

Just as others have helped me in my periods of sadness and loss, I feel blessed to be able to help those on the Earth plane and in Spirit connect through Mediumship. But what I’d love everyone to understand is that, even without the help of a Medium, our loved ones in Spirit are as close as a thought, a prayer, or a memory relived.  They are there for us in so many, many ways, and are amazingly creative in their demonstration of support. All we need to do is to keep our eyes and our hearts open, and wait—joyfully and expectantly—for their loving communications!

With Love and Light ~ Renee Buck

Read Full Post »