The Adoption Pact

Adoption is not so black and white.

A man, whom I’ll call Paul, recently came to me for a Messages from Loved Ones reading. He’d never had such a reading before, and admitted some doubt about the process itself, but the opportunity presented itself, and so he was going to take it. His open-minded attitude was enough for me to feel comfortable proceeding.

Paul had one very specific question in mind: Why did his birth parents give him up for adoption? Both his birth parents were in Spirit, and so he couldn’t ask them directly. No one had ever come to a reading with such a question, so I had no idea what might come from it, but I was interested to see where this question would take us.

Now, Paul wanted me to understand in advance of the reading that he’d had a very good life, with very loving adoptive parents, and never lacked for anything growing up. He said that he bore no ill will toward his biological parents for their decision, whatever their reasons, but nevertheless he was curious, and if he could know the answer to this question, he could stop wondering about it. He added that he had never, throughout his life, felt strongly compelled to discover his biological roots. And yet, in recent years, due to a near-death medical emergency, Paul found himself propelled along the journey of family discovery in middle age.

And so, there we were, about to answer a question he had held in his heart for his entire life.

I placed our chairs facing each other, knees to knees, close enough to take his hands in mine. I led us through a relaxation and pillar-of-light visualization that I do for all my clients prior to a reading. Usually, after I’ve finished with visualization, I release my hands, we both sit back, and within a minute the Spirits approach slowly, and begin the communication. But this case – this case was different.

I’d barely begun the pillar-of-light visualization when one set of parents slid into place along my right arm and Paul’s left arm, still joined at our hands. Suddenly, another set of parents slid into place to my left, facing the first set of parents. It was as though we were at a card table, all facing in. I was still talking Paul through the visualization, even as I was observing these two sets of parents taking their seat at the table, so to speak. As I was finishing the visualization, the two parents reached across and through our hands, and joined hands themselves. Imagine if you will, six pairs of hands joined across the table, energetically merging. Clearly, this was going to be a very special reading.

I finished the introductory visualization, and explained to Paul what had just happened. Before Paul could say anything in response, the woman to my right identified herself as his birth mother, and  began speaking.

“It was a pact, Paul,” she said. “A pact, or agreement, that we all made prior to your birth.” When she said “all,” she waved her arm in an arc to include his adoptive parents, Paul himself, and she and her husband, the biological father. “It was a part of your life plan that we all agreed to—I and my husband agreed to conceive you, and then to give you up for adoption. Your adoptive parents across from us agreed to adopt you and to provide you the life situation that they did, a life situation that you sought. Of course, on the Earth plane, we forget this agreement, but our souls do not, and so we are driven toward these decisions, despite the grief and sadness that we are left with. Let me say however, that it has been such an amazing relief—and I speak for myself now—to have the opportunity here (on the Other Side) to meet your adoptive parents again with my husband, and to share our experiences. To know that the sadness I felt at giving you up was balanced by the immeasurable joy your adoptive mother and father experienced reminded me once again, why I agreed to it. Much of my life plan was about personal loss in this lifetime, and about finding the courage to work through it, to move through it, and to continue to thrive for the sake of my other children. It was a very difficult life for a variety of reasons, and yet when I see now how the gains balanced the losses, I understand it, and am able to release the sadness and guilt I carried with me for so many years.”

I paused as Paul let this sink in. His biological father spoke briefly of his role in the decision to give up Paul, and that he was motivated by practical reasons, but that later in life he would feel the regrets and the pain of loss rise up again and again. He said, “It helps to understand that I played the role that my soul agreed to, difficult as it was, and as my wife said, to see the wonderful life you’d been given by your new parents eased the difficult and lingering emotions around that decision.”

Next, Paul’s adoptive parents spoke. It turns out Paul’s adoptive father was the head of the county social services, where Paul’s biological mother gave birth to him. His father made sure that he would be well placed to receive Paul when it was time for him to be born, and he was! The adoption was handled directly and efficiently. His adoptive mother spoke of the joy they felt when Paul became their son, and no love could be greater than that which they felt for him. He had made them so proud. There were more lovely memories shared in this part of the reading, and Paul was taken back, albeit briefly, to his happy childhood.

The adoption was my idea?! Paul wanted to know why he, himself, would choose to be given up for adoption. Could they tell him that? So I asked the parents, and what came forward was a new aspect to pre-birth Life Planning that I had not understood up to this point myself.

A clipboard holding a checklist floated into view before me. I’m not sure who brought it forward – his biological parents or whether it came in from a Spirit Guide. Both sets of parents seemed to be privy to the information on the paper.

Paul’s biological mother spoke again, “Paul, in this lifetime, you wanted to explore the expression of familial love and bonds outside of genetics, outside of the biological stream, if you will. You wanted to know if you could flourish in the same way raised by those who were biologically unrelated to you. You were seeking to understand the nature of family and love, and what are the determining variables. It’s quite clear on your checklist.”

My attention was drawn again to the clipboard, upon which was a list of Paul’s life goals—goals that he had written for himself. There was a long list of goals that appeared in dark type; most of them had checks next to them, marking accomplishments. Near the bottom, however, was a dotted line, and below it were a few more items, but they were grayed out. His biological mother continued, “You see the items at the top were all part of your pre-birth Life Plan—as that of a child given up by us, and taken in by your adoptive parents. You’ll see key benchmarks in career, marriage, children – it’s all there. You have followed your life plan quite skillfully, Paul—better than most.”

Not all life goals are created equal:  She then pointed to the bottom of the page and said, “The two grayed-out items at the bottom of the page are those items that you did not want to include as pre-specified goals prior to being born on Earth. You wanted the flexibility to determine if each would be a goal or not–in real-time–while living your life on Earth. One of these items was to find your biological family. You didn’t want the insistence of your soul to do so; you wanted to let free will and circumstance lead you there—or not. So you see Paul, this is the reason that we, my husband and I, never told our children about you, or sought you out. Our souls knew it was to be your decision, and we had no right to take that from you. As hard as it was at times to not seek you out, to learn how your life was unfolding, we did not break our pact with you, because we knew in our hearts that we should not.  I hope that you can understand and appreciate this fact.”

At this, Paul nodded. He seemed to understand it completely. The two sets of parents then showered Paul with love, and pulled back (or rather floated back) from the table, allowing other Spirits who were waiting to greet Paul to step in, and the reading proceeded as any other.

The Adoption Pact: Because of the unique nature of the discussion of Paul’s Life Plan, and the “Pact” he had made with both sets of parents regarding his adoption, I asked him if I could share that part of the reading, so that other readers, who may be experiencing one side or another of an adoption may find comfort in this story.  Adoption is a part of so many families’ experience today, and yet the attendant emotions continue to be complex, sorrow- or guilt-ridden, or simply confusing in a culture that places a high value on knowing our roots, our family story, our biological lineage. No adoption is like the next, and yet all adoptions may share the common event of a pact between all parties prior to life here on Earth.

Once again, we are reminded that we, as individuals, are the architects of our own Life Plans. We have a voice in all significant events that will occur in our lives, the goal being our soul’s continued growth and evolution. So when life seems really hard, or throws that unexpected curve ball, take a moment to reflect and to assess the learning that is happening. In quiet meditation, ask your soul, your higher self, why you have been put in this situation, and how it will serve you though the rest of your life? The answers are there, you just need to listen for Whispers from the Light…

Do you have a story of adoption to share, a story of love, or courage or learning that was possible because of an adoption? Please feel free to comment below.

With Love and Light ~ Renee Buck

5 thoughts on “The Adoption Pact

  1. Renee,

    Thank you for posting that reading. It’s beautiful and truthful. Sometimes when I think about my life and the things I’ve gone through, I think, “I must have been drunk when I agreed to this on the Other Side” but I do know that we all chart our incarnations before being born. I’m going to send this to a friend of mine who is adopted. I think she’ll get some peace from it.

    In Light,


  2. well Renee I’m blown away by this message.Thank you for being the channel for this wisdom to come through. I am part of the adoption triad and your words resonate as truth to me. Difficult truth.


    1. Hi Kathy,
      I’m happy to hear that you found solace in my story. Uncovering our soul agreements can bring so much peace to our lives, answering difficult questions long held. As you know, spirit shares only what is needed at that moment in time, and in cases like this — it’s quite remarkable, and infinitely healing.
      Much love,


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